Hard

That's the first word that comes to mind when people ask me how being a mommy is going. I hate that the first word isn't "awesome" or "rewarding" or something of that nature, but honestly it just isn't right now. I do feel the awesomeness and the reward at times too, don't get me wrong. But it's been a tough week with G-man. I guess it's been more like a rough nine-ish weeks, since he was about 2 weeks old. He has spent very little time happy when he is awake this week. I have come to consider a good day one in which he has slept a lot. I hate it. I want my baby to be more content, more easy going. I want to see those sweet smiles and hear those coos more than I am. Daddy has been gone a lot too, which makes things harder. I have more and more respect for single moms every day. Some days I am needing a break by noon and we still have another nine hours before Daddy will even be home. He was also gone over night again last night. But he loves his job which helps make for a happy marriage and house and if he didn't coach I wouldn't be able to stay at home with Mr. Fussy Pants. Wait, so maybe he should consider quiting?! Kidding, kidding. Even on the hard days I still feel strong about being a stay at home mom. If anything, even more so on rough days because if I get frustrated at times, I can only imagine how someone caring for him who isn't his mommy would feel.

His gas has been much better since I've cut dairy and some other things out of my diet. I would still say the colic is much better and we don't see nearly as much of the screaming anymore. It's more just whinin and cryin. And I hope that all the fussin he's doing is the remains of colic and it will still get better, but I kind of have a feeling that he is just going to be a high maintenance baby. I know that even if that's the case, it won't last forever and we will have easier days. I am trying my hardest to keep perspective and be thankful that he is healthy and remember that things could be so much worse.

It sure does help that he is the cutest little booger I have ever laid my eyes on! ;)